You Can’t Trust a Mirror
Mirror, mirror, on the wall… Let’s understand body image once and for all.
The evil queen may have thought herself to be the “fairest of them all” every time she ogled herself in the mirror, but let’s be honest…
That’s not the reality for millions of women when they look in the mirror.
Think about the last time you saw a photo of yourself and thought:
“Ugh. Is that really what I look like?”
Or maybe you’ve stood in front of the mirror—feeling cute one second and then absolutely spiraling the next because the angle changed, the light shifted, or your inner mean girl decided to sling an insult at you because she was bored.
Before you start to shame yourself, listen to me.
What you’re feeling in those moments isn’t superficial or dramatic.
It’s your perceptual body image—and it’s the first piece of a much bigger puzzle.
Wait… There Are Four Types of Body Image?
Yep. Your relationship with your body is made up of four distinct components:
Perceptual – how you see your body
Affective – how you feel about your body
Cognitive – what you think about your body
Behavioral – what you do because of those thoughts and feelings
Each one shows up differently in your life, and healing body image means looking at all four—not just slapping a sticky note on your mirror that says “You’re beautiful!” and calling it a day.
Today, we’re starting with the perceptual side. And honey? She’s a TRICKY bia.
So, What Is Perceptual Body Image?
In simple terms, perceptual body image is the mental snapshot you have of what you look like.
But here’s the catch:
That picture? She ain’t always accurate.
In fact, it’s often distorted—by years of comparison, body shame, media messages, diet culture, bullying, and the curated highlight reels of the fitfluencers you follow on Instagram.
In other words?
You could be looking straight into a mirror and still not be seeing the actual truth.
Signs Your Perceptual Body Image Might Be Distorted
🙈 You hate how you look in some mirrors but feel fine in others.
📸 You obsessively retake photos or avoid them altogether.
🧠 You “feel” bigger or smaller depending on your mood.
💬 You replay past comments about your body on loop, even if they were years ago
👀 You zoom in on your “flaws” so much that you lose the full picture
(Oh, and if you’ve ever done a full-body scan just to decide whether you’re “allowed” to wear that outfit? Yep. That too.)
Why Does This Happen?
Because, despite its best efforts, your brain isn’t a camera—it’s a meaning-making machine.
And for most women, that machine has been running on diet culture’s software for waaaay too long.
Your perception has been trained to:
👎🏻 Look for “problem areas” to fix, tone, hide, or reverse.
👎🏻 Compare yourself to a photoshopped, filtered, or AI-generated standard.
👎🏻 Associate your body and its size with your worth.
Given all of this, of course your reflection feels complicated.
It’s not neutral—it’s layered with judgment, pressure, and old programming.
So… How Do We Shift This?
First things first—you don’t have to force yourself to love what you see.
Let’s aim for truthful, curious, and eventually… Neutral.
Here are a few gentle places to start:
🪞 Change the narrative, not the body. When you catch yourself spiraling in the mirror, pause and ask: “Is this what I actually look like, or is this what my brain thinks I should look like?”
📷 Spend less time picking apart photos. Zooming in only magnifies your self-criticism. Try looking at photos the way you’d look at a friend’s—what’s the energy of the moment?
🧠 Get curious, not critical. Instead of “I look gross,” try “That’s interesting. I’m feeling really activated right now—what else might be going on?”
🧴 Ditch the bad lighting and bathroom angles. Yes, seriously. Grab the low-hanging fruit and give your nervous system a break.
TL;DR?
If your reflection feels like a personal attack, it might not be your body that’s the problem—it might be your perception.
Your perception is your reality.
The good news?
Perception can change.
It takes time, practice, and a helluva lot of self-compassion… But it is possible to look in the mirror and see yourself without shame.
Stay tuned next week for Part 2: Affective Body Image—where we unpack why your body image sometimes feels worse on a random Tuesday than it did at the beach.
And if you want to start exploring this right now?
My quiz is a great place to begin untangling your unique body image patterns.
This is part 1 (perceptual body image) of a 4-part series about the components of body image.
