Your Fear is Stealing Your Joy
When I was a sophomore in high school, I was part of the student council, and we'd spent weeks planning a big Halloween dance.
We worked hard to pull the whole thing together, and I had visions of exactly how fun it would be—music, laughter, costumes, friends.
But when the night came, something stopped me dead in my tracks.
I hated how I looked.
Fear washed over me. I was terrified about what people might think, how they might whisper behind my back.
My body felt wrong, my costume felt wrong, everything felt wrong.
So, after all that work, all that anticipation, I didn’t go—I stayed home and cried instead.
Fear literally stole my joy that night.
Years later, I can see that fear wasn’t random.
My 15-year-old self was desperate to feel safe, to avoid rejection, and to earn approval.
That fear came from a part of me that believed love and worthiness were conditional—that I had to look a certain way to deserve joy, connection, and love.
I share that with you because the memory popped into my mind after hearing this during a recent meditation:
"What if your fear is keeping you from your joy?"
I mean... Whoa.
That one hit me hard because for a long time, it did—since I was 15 years old.
Fear kept me believing that:
🫣 If I gained weight... (god forbid)
🫣 If I looked "bad"... (to who?)
🫣 If I wasn’t attractive... (for boys)
I would lose my worth.
It sounds so dramatic when I write it out like that.
But for so many of us, it’s the exact kind of fucked up logic fear whispers into our ears.
Fear says:
✋🏻 Stay small.
✋🏻 Stay in line.
✋🏻 Stay in control.
Fear promises that if we just behave, just shrink, just inch a little closer to perfect…
🩷 We’ll be safe.
🩷 We'll be worthy.
🩷 We’ll be loved.
I saw a text recently from another meditation teacher that said:
"Sometimes fear is just your younger self asking, 'Are you sure you won’t abandon me if we take this next step?'"
Mic. 🎤 Drop. 🫳🏻
Fear isn’t the enemy—it’s just the small, tender part of us still trying to protect us.
Clear Signs Fear is Running the Show
Looking back now, it’s obvious how fear stole my joy that night in high school—but fear can be sneaky and subtle for adults.
You might not even realize when it's running the show.
Here are some signs you might recognize in your own life:
➡️ Avoiding social events because you're worried about how your body looks.
➡️ Feeling anxiety around food choices, especially in social settings.
➡️ Constantly second-guessing outfits, worried someone might judge your body.
➡️ Holding yourself back from new experiences because "you’re not skinny enough."
➡️ Believing you have to “fix” something about yourself before fully participating in life.
How to Start Facing Your Fear
Recognizing how fear shows up is powerful, but what comes next?
✨ Notice the Pattern: Awareness is always the first step. Start gently noting moments when fear creeps in—without judgment.
✨ Pause and Check In: Ask yourself, “What is this fear trying to protect me from? What am I afraid might happen? What do I need here?”
✨ Offer Yourself Reassurance: Remind yourself gently that you’re safe, loved, and enough exactly as you are. It may sound simple, but consistently offering compassion to yourself can shift how your fears feel.
Journal Prompt
Grab your favorite journal, settle in somewhere cozy, and gently reflect on these questions:
🖊️ What fears keep coming up for me around food, my body, or being fully seen?
🖊️ If I listen closely, what might these fears be trying to protect me from?
🖊️ Is there a younger version of me who’s worried I’ll abandon her if my body changes?
🖊️ What would I say to her right now if I could reassure her?
Give yourself permission to explore these questions with kindness, curiosity, and compassion.
Fear might feel big, overwhelming, and impossible to shake, but remember:
🌟 You don’t need to be fearless overnight.
🌟 You don’t need to have it all figured out.
🌟 You just need to start gently choosing joy again, one brave step at a time.
Because babe, you were never put on this planet to shrink, to hide, or to hold back.
You were put here to be seen, celebrated, and wildly, unapologetically free.
(And P.S.—the younger version of you who’s been scared? She deserves that freedom, too.)
