No One Can Shame You But You
Let’s kick things off with a spicy one, friends. 🔥
Shame? It’s not something other people do to you.
It’s something you do to yourself.
I know, I know.
That can be a lot to swallow, especially when we live in a culture built on shaming women into submission—shame about our bodies, our appetites, our parenting, our choices… It’s endless.
But here’s the thing…
Those outside messages?
They’re just that—messages.
They don’t become shame until we internalize them.
Until we believe them.
Until we make them mean something about us.
Let’s Break It Down
🧠 Thoughts → Emotions → Experience.
Your thoughts create your emotions.
That’s the basic premise of cognitive behavioral theory, and it checks out.
So when you feel shame, it’s not the ad or the comment or the look someone gave you that causes it.
It’s the thought you had about it.
Something like:
💭 “They must think I’ve let myself go.”
💭 “I should be eating better.”
💭 “I don’t belong here.”
And boom—hello, shame spiral. 🌪️
But here's the oh-so-liberating twist:
If shame is something we create, it’s also something we can change.
Shame vs. Victim Mentality
Shame thrives when we feel powerless.
It tells us we’re broken, unworthy, and not enough.
And often, when we’re deep in shame, we slip into victim mode—we believe we’re at the mercy of other people’s opinions, society’s standards, or diet culture’s rules.
But the moment we recognize that our internal world is ours?
That’s the moment we reclaim our power.
Because if we created the shame with our thoughts?
Well, we can un-create it, too.
How to Release Shame (Your Action Plan!)
Ready to ditch the shame spiral and step into your power? Here’s how:
1. Catch It Early
Notice the moment shame creeps in.
Pay attention to your body—shame often feels like heaviness, tightness, or a sinking feeling in your gut.
2. Name the Thought
Pause and ask yourself, “What am I telling myself right now?”
Write it down or say it out loud.
Bringing it into the open instantly weakens its power.
3. Challenge It
Ask yourself questions like:
❓ Is this thought 100% true?
❓ Where did this belief come from?
❓ Would I ever speak this way to someone I love?
4. Flip the Script
Replace the shame-triggering thought with a compassionate alternative, like:
🩷 “I’m learning to trust my body, and what others think doesn’t determine my worth.”
🩷 “One meal doesn’t define my value.”
🩷 “I belong wherever I choose to show up.”
5. Take Empowered Action
Do something immediately that reinforces your self-worth.
It could be:
✨ Texting a supportive friend for encouragement.
✨ Engaging in a quick body-positive meditation.
✨ Doing something joyful or soothing, like putting on music or stepping outside.
The Bottom Line?
This isn’t about blaming yourself for feeling shame.
It’s about reclaiming your power—one thought, one choice, one action at a time.
You don’t have to carry shame just because someone handed it to you.
You can say “no thanks” and set it down.
And that, my friend, is what freedom feels like. 😘
